There are a lot of myths and rumors surrounding the penis. Most of these spread by the men who have them, and think that if they keep spreading the same untruths, we'll all just eventually believe all this made up nonsense about foot size and magical semen. To set the record straight here are the nine biggest penis lies that need to die forever and never be uttered again.
1. That you should be checking out the size of his Nikes before unzipping his pants.
The whole "you know what they say about big feet?!?!?!!?" thing is pure urban myths. A study from 2002 looked into this and found no substantial correlation between a guy's foot size and penis size.
2. That his drunken lack of boner means he's totally over you and thinks you're a slovenly troll monster.
Whiskey dick is not to be taken personally even a real live men said so himself. Alcohol might make you feel fun, flirty, and cool but it's technically a depressant, and depressants aren't necessarily the best at making things go and stay up, as studies have shown.
3. That he will literally die and his dick will rip off at the seams if he doesn't have an orgasm every single time.
Guys who tell you, "I'm sorry but if I don't come, my dick's going to hurt for days" are straight up bullying you. Yes, blue balls are a real medical thing, but they are not life frightening, and they will not leave this man gripping his crotch in torture all weekend. Don't believe in this lie!
4. That there's an actual bone in that boner, and if you don't play nice with it, you’ll break it in half like a bunch of raw spaghetti.
A penile fracture happens when an erect penis is bumped against a hard surface with a lot of force, and the thing that "breaks" and causes an audible cracking sound is actually a thick, rigid membrane that surrounds the spongy tissue that gets hard when it fills with blood (a boner). Again, this is super uncommon, but if you suspect you've got a broken penis on your hands, you should seek medical attention immediately.
5. That his semen is a magical healing potion that will solve your problems and promote weight loss and therefore you should swallow it like it's good vitamins.
Swallowing is bad, but if a man ever tells you some lie like "swallowing makes you lose weight," leave him high and dry. There are insignificant amounts of nutrients in semen, and you can easily get them elsewhere like in food that actually tastes good.
6. That a big dick is the best dick and if you don't like it, your vagina is just too small.
There are plenty of men with smaller penises who love their small penises and there are plenty of women who love having sex with smaller men. Sometimes sex with a large penis can be painful, and that doesn't mean you're doing it wrong. Size doesn't matter.
7. That he can't feel anything when he's wearing a condom and that makes sex no fun and wahhhhhh why can't we just ditch the condom and raw dog it babe?
If a guy you're with is grouchy about sex not being any good when he's wearing a condom, maybe suggest a thinner condoms, or try putting a drop of lube in the tip of the condom before sliding it on. He might also be buying the wrong size, if the condom is too tight, it's cutting off circulation, and that can cause a lack of feeling.
8. That he can feel your IUD poking his penis head.
He CANNOT feel your IUD. That thing is literally inside of your uterus, tucked away behind your cervix. And if he was feeling the actual thing, he would be pumping into your womb. Not only would that be incredibly painful, but also he can't get up there.
9. That it should be totally straight, and if it's curved like a fleshy banana, there's something wrong with him.
His slightly unstraight penis is totally fine. A lot of guys (like Enrique Iglesias) have little curve going on.
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